Were Not Our Heart Burning Within Us

"How foolish you are!" he cried. "How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!"

(Luke 24:25)

These were the words Jesus spoke to the disciples on the road from Jerusalem to Emmaus after Jesus' death when they failed to recognize him in their lives. Perhaps like us, they couldn't see His presence in their lives because their eyes were clouded by tears of sadness.

Maybe like us, they underestimated what Jesus could do, up to and including rising from the dead. If we have fallen into the routine of not taking Jesus at His word, then we will miss seeing His power in our lives or His work in the world.

Yet the road to Emmaus is our road of faith, where we with all our challenges and imperfections learn to find Jesus and love Him until our hearts burn within us. With each rocky step we slowly begin to recognize Him in everything.

I was reminded of this lesson last week. I am a closet blogger. No one, even my husband knows that I exist online. I write very infrequently and feel totally free in the experience because no one knows where in cyberspace I reside. Until only recently.

I was shocked to find that my sister in law found me. I had visited her blog when I over heard a conversation between brothers. My husband was wishing his brother a Happy Birthday and his brother mentioned that they had a little dog named Henry. My daddy's name is Henry. I was intrigued.

I found Christine's blog and learned about Henry... and had a sweet peek at their lives. I placed the link in my favorites so I could visit again soon. Ooh, but I left a comment behind. Perhaps so I didn't feel so guilty cloaking and left behind some evidence that I had taken a quick little look at the beautiful fabric she made into quilts. At the flowers in her garden... At the smell of bread she bakes in her oven. Of the empty nest made full by a little dog wonderfully named.

I got an email from Christine. She had posted a comment about Heart to Heart. I was horrified! Someone actually found my cave. It is an unkept place filled with wrinkles instead of nicely pressed fabric ready for quilting. My words sometimes come from a broken place. Financial, emotional and a personal life unraveling. Nothing remotely resembling the pieces of soft and beautiful art that is Christine's world.

How easy it is to look at others lives and believe that everything is so perfect and that we don't have anything to share in our less than perfect, and often broken lives. But it isn't true, no one has that perfect life. There are loose threads even in the most pressed and button down of appearences.

I was embarrassed and shocked to find that she described her peek as inspirational and said other words I know I do not merit. Then I thought that if I waited for the day that I too resembled one of Christine's beautiful flowers or quilts. I would never write another word. I thanked God for her little visit because she reminded me that on my road, I failed to recognize that Jesus was walking with me.

So many negative experiences even if offered to God daily can make me feel forgotten or ignored by the Lord. Pope Benedict XVI said on April 6th of 2008 at St. Peter's Square:

"This road to Emmaus on which we walk can become the

way of purification and maturation of our belief in God.

Through the intercession of Mary most holy,

let us pray that in reliving the experience of the disciples of

Emmaus every Christian and every community

may rediscover the grace

of the transforming encounter with the Lord."

I remember the story I heard once, that our life is like a tapestry, a quilt like creation. God gives us these threads to weave and some of them don't look like they are the best choice at the time, but in obedience, we weave. We tie knots and start again with another texture or color. And quite frankly the work looks like a mess from our vantage point.

But at the end, when we meet Him face to face. He turns the tapestry around and lets us see for the very first time what His creation looks like. I pray with Mary's grace and intercession, it will give Him so much glory!

A letter to Jane

While I was looking through my sent mail folder, I found this letter written in November of 2008 and I was shocked to find that I had actually written it to my friend Jane. It was one of those I wrote this? moments...

I think I found it because I had lost sight of the "plan" and Jesus needed to remind me to remain focused this Holy Week.

Again... my computer is dead. I am using Frank's laptop again to check mail and check Carrie's blog and of course Melanie's as well. Mel and I were still stuck in November but I did post finally in April, so I barely lead her by a nose.

Here is my letter to Jane:

Dear Jane:

Thank you for your note. My computer was sent back to the factory, it is very sick. I'll get it back in 5 to 6 weeks. In the meantime, I can only check my mail when Frankie brings his laptop home.

I know that our Lord is working in our lives right now, Jane. Each of us is being stripped of "stuff" and it hurts. But at the same time I have to say I am so honored that God loves us so much. Our hearts are ready for such a time.

For me, I keep losing things. Phone service, cell phone, computer, mental health, job... the list is a growing one. For you is the loss of a husband... the way you knew him for many years. I do believe Jane that in those losses, God is clearing the field of our hearts to plant something very special and eternal.

I also believe that we can plan for a great harvest. Maybe in saved souls, maybe we may never know. I do know that all this pruning is for a wonderful cause and one day, we will stand before God in all His glory and marvel at what this sacrifice purchased for our Beloved.

So smile my friend and thank Him for allowing us to participate so closely with His redemptive plan by allowing us to contribute our weakness, our pain and suffering. God be praised!

Amen and Amen.

Dear Lou Ann Paz,

Jesus Christ is LORD!

Thank you for submitting your prayer request to us. We are praying with you for:

Lord, I humbly ask you for the gift of fasting. I ask that your blessed mother, Mary interceed for me in this request. I ask that you heal the hearts of those crying out for your healing and that you provide us the grace necessary to do your will everyday. Amen"Pray always without becoming weary." (Lk 18:1)Please visit our Prayer Room often to pray for other requests.

http://www.presentationministries.com/prayer/prayer.asp
In the love of Christ,

PM Intercessors Prayer Team

Suffering in Secret

The loudest and scariest noise I can remember besides my Mother screaming... was the big drum accompanied by the drum corp at a Las Cruces Homecoming parade when I was about three years old. I felt as though my heart would come out of my chest with each beat.

I was always a shy child. I compensated by forcing myself to join drama productions as a youngster and by taking speech class every year from high school into college. In high school, lunch was the worse time of the day. I hated walking into the cafeteria surrounded by other kids who seemed so comfortable in their surroundings. Knowing that I kept to myself--- afraid if I sat with anyone, I would end up making a fool of myself.

I have a sensitivity to fluorescent light. I am hyper sensitive to criticism, studies show that people with my disorder grew up in a highly critical environment. Studies have shown that people with this disorder are very creative and intelligent.... I suppose when they're not busy scaring themselves to death.

As I go through the tapes learning about how to live with this disorder, I have decided to write daily. Perhaps one day, it might help another understand the fear.

FOR TODAY September 2, 2008, Tuesday
Outside My Window...A very quiet day clear skies, big puffy clouds...Breafast: Protein Shake Lunch: Chile Beans Dinner: a salad

I am wearing... brown sweat shorts and a white tee...

I am creating... a platform for understanding the sadness and depression

I am going... to the gym rather I'm being dragged to the gym; but always thankful that I went

I am reading... the newspaper

I am hoping... I can remember to offer up the darkness in my soul

I am hearing... the sound of the air conditioner humming away.

Around the house... quietly waiting ironing.

One of my favorite things... my grandchildren's smiles ;-)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Go with Luly tomorrow to watch her girls while she gets her hair highlighted. And ...keep remembering to offer this sadness up for the salvation of souls.

All You, Holy Men and Women Pray for Us

At the 6 p.m. Mass on August 26th, this beautiful case was blessed and dedicated. The design was taken from the original altar in the first St. Genevieve Church built 150 years ago and torn down to make room for a bank.

The case was designed and built by Seminarian, Christopher Edward Williams during the summer. He also chaired our Retablo Project. The communion rail is also from the old church.

The case will hold the relics of 13 saints. Frank and I were asked to carry St. Maria Goretti's relic to the case during the dedication mass. I wish I could explain how having a small piece of this little one close to my heart moved me and the others who were honored with carrying a relic of another saint. I will publish the biographies of the saints we honor in this case at another time.

We have at the top a splinter for the cross. Relics from St. John Newman, St. Pope Pius X, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Bartholomew, St. Jude, St. St. Maria Goretti, St. Anthony of Padua, St. Theresa of Avila, and a few others that I will present very soon along with their biographies.

The Mass was beautiful! I guess, because it reminded me that these men and women were alive just like me and had trials just like me, and yet managed to follow Christ to the end. Each one contributing to the faith in their own unique and marvelous way.

I believe that the real story about this case is that it was not planned in the mind of any person. That is to say, that events took place that put this project into motion and the project took shape, materials and talent was provided and finally became realized miraculously.

For one thing, Father Ricardo Bauza, our pastor, could not get his paperwork finalized for his visa; which in turn keep him at the parish instead of Norte Dame where he studies during the summer. Wood was provided by a parish member who found the tree knocked down on the side of a road and asked if he could haul it away. The owners of the property were thankful to be rid of it. It was dark walnut. Our Seminarian, Chris is an accomplished carpenter with a love for the historical. He found his inspiration in pictures of the old St. Genevieve.

Frank and I were asked to carry Maria's relic to the case. I had painted her last month. I spent at least 7 days with her and was sad when her image was completed. I learned about her and felt that the time I spent with her had taught me about forgiveness. To understand the lesson, you have to know Maria Goretti.

Born in Corinaldo, Ancona, Italy, on October 16, 1890; her farm worker father moved his family to Ferrier di Conca, near Anzio. Her father died of malaria and her mother had to struggle to feed her children.

In 1902 an eighteen year old neighbor, Alexander, grabbed her from her steps and tried to rape her. When Maria said that she would rather die than submit, Alexander began stabbing her with a knife.

As she lay in the hospital, she forgave Alexander before she died. Her death did not end her forgiveness, however. Alexander was captured and sentenced to thirty years. He was unrepentant until he had a dream that he was in a garden. Maria was there and gave him flowers. When he woke, he was a changed man, repenting of his crime and living a reformed life. When he was released after 27 years he went directly to Maria’s mother to beg her forgiveness, which she gave. “If my daughter can forgive him, who am I to withhold forgiveness,” she said.

When Maria was declared a saint in 1950, Alexander was there in the St. Peter’s crowd to celebrate her canonization. She was canonized by Pope Pius XII for her purity as a model for youth. She is called a martyr because she fought against sexual assault. However, the most important aspect of her story is her forgiveness of her attacker—her concern for her enemy extending even beyond death. She is the patron saint of Purity, Youth, and Rape Victims.

It is easier to forgive when a person is sorry and repenting, isn't it? I mean when you see the heart of the person sorrowful for the wrong that he has committed. But in Maria's situation, he was not sorry until she came to him after death in a dream. She has taught me so much about forgiveness. When we were chosen to carry her relic, I was stunned because very few people know about my fondness for this little saint. It was if she was letting me know that she knows my heart and that she is interceding for me. I truly felt her friendship and her grace.

Have A Heart

From today's readings: " I will give you a new heart and place a new spiritwithin you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you naturalhearts.... I will pour clean water on you and wash away all your sins....The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come....

"Have a Heart! The desperate cry to "Have a Heart!" is among the most tugging appeals one can make beseeching another to re-consider some cold intention orassessment. The appeal plainly and plaintively points out that the proposal under consideration appears heartless, and even inhuman. How touching to note that God uses this same appeal with all His people,entreating us not only to "have a heart," but more specifically, to have the heart that He offers to give us! At first, it might seem inappropriate for us to be saddled with the charge of having "stony hearts," since each of us would hasten to assure all that we certainly do love our God! Yet in all honesty, we must also admit that we have too often treated Him heartlessly. This is particularly true, according to Ezekiel, when the great Name of theLord is profaned among us. This refers not just to the ubiquitous profanity in our midst (which, tragically, is accepted so casually), but also to any ways in which God's rightful place in our lives is demoted or denigrated in any fashion. For example, if a man is too embarrassed to ever speak seriously about his faith (even in his own family!), or if a woman can find plenty of time for romance novels or soap operas, but no time for reading the Bible, then God's Name has certainly been heartlessly profaned in such households! Today, remember above all to have a heart for the Good Lord who gave you your heart!

Madonna of the Streets

I've been given a gift.

Mother says that I've always had the gift but only recently decided to use it.

Perhaps, that is only partly true.

I believe that I didn't know quite how to use it.

Only recently, have I begun to paint retablos for a church fundraiser in November.

Our parish will be purchasing new pews.

My daughter, Carrie asked me to paint our Lady, Madonna of the Streets.

I couldn't resist... and truly,

Igive all glory to God for the result.