Thursday, July 5, 2007

I'm Still Here

Hello Again

I attempted to write a little in the "Heaven Can't Wait" blog. However, when I tried to access the blog I got this one. My therapist wants me to journal. I'm happy that this blog opened up because it's private. I don't think anyone but me knows that it exists.

Lots has happened since my last visit and it would be ridiculous to try to catch up. It is truly
water under the bridge.

Today however is not. Not yet, anyway.

I woke up this morning. I dreamt that I was at a party. There were people from work and I was having a really great time until I had to get up and pee. I've been having a difficult time lately. Relationships between myself and those closest to me are strained. I want to move forward and in a way I can't seem to because I feel stuck. Not lost. Just stuck.

I'm going to take a few steps out of my situation by writing about the many blessing I have today. And perhaps I will begin to be grateful and with a new spirit be able to move out of this feeling of overwhelming sadness.

I'm so grateful for...

the person of Jesus. He is always with me... and even when I don't really feel Him, I know that he is not too far off. I'm thankful for my faith

my physical health.
Carrie's mother in law is dealing with the chemotheraphy necessary for fighting her breast cancer. Today and everyday, I'm cancer free. I'm in great shape for a 50+ woman!

the pharmacuticals available for feeding my chemically challenged brain. The little pill I take allows me sleep, to keep level headed, to function in a challenging world.

the blessing of my family. My handsome and steady husband. He doesn't share alot with me good or bad. But he is always there. My unique and beautiful daughters. I need to write about each one individually very soon. But I am very grateful for each of them.

my home. It is comfortable, beautiful, and warm in the winter, and because of a new air conditioner; cooler in the summer. I have bees and I'm asking them to relocate now. I imagine
them finding another place to call home.

Thank you Heavenly Father for the above mentioned blessings! Bless all these people and things for your glory.

Amen

I want my God, to love you face to face.