Thursday, May 21, 2009

Were Not Our Heart Burning Within Us

"How foolish you are!" he cried. "How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!"
(Luke 24:25)

These were the words Jesus spoke to the disciples on the road from Jerusalem to Emmaus after Jesus' death when they failed to recognize him in their lives. Perhaps like us, they couldn't see His presence in their lives because their eyes were clouded by tears of sadness.

Maybe like us, they underestimated what Jesus could do, up to and including rising from the dead. If we have fallen into the routine of not taking Jesus at His word, then we will miss seeing His power in our lives or His work in the world.

Yet the road to Emmaus is our road of faith, where we with all our challenges and imperfections learn to find Jesus and love Him until our hearts burn within us. With each rocky step we slowly begin to recognize Him in everything.

I was reminded of this lesson last week. I am a closet blogger. No one, even my husband knows that I exist online. I write very infrequently and feel totally free in the experience because no one knows where in cyberspace I reside. Until only recently.

I was shocked to find that my sister in law found me. I had visited her blog when I over heard a conversation between brothers. My husband was wishing his brother a Happy Birthday and his brother mentioned that they had a little dog named Henry. My daddy's name is Henry. I was intrigued.

I found Christine's blog and learned about Henry... and had a sweet peek at their lives. I placed the link in my favorites so I could visit again soon. Ooh, but I left a comment behind. Perhaps so I didn't feel so guilty cloaking and left behind some evidence that I had taken a quick little look at the beautiful fabric she made into quilts. At the flowers in her garden... At the smell of bread she bakes in her oven. Of the empty nest made full by a little dog wonderfully named.

I got an email from Christine. She had posted a comment about Heart to Heart. I was horrified! Someone actually found my cave. It is an unkept place filled with wrinkles instead of nicely pressed fabric ready for quilting. My words sometimes come from a broken place. Financial, emotional and a personal life unraveling. Nothing remotely resembling the pieces of soft and beautiful art that is Christine's world.

How easy it is to look at others lives and believe that everything is so perfect and that we don't have anything to share in our less than perfect, and often broken lives. But it isn't true, no one has that perfect life. There are loose threads even in the most pressed and button down of appearences.

I was embarrassed and shocked to find that she described her peek as inspirational and said other words I know I do not merit. Then I thought that if I waited for the day that I too resembled one of Christine's beautiful flowers or quilts. I would never write another word. I thanked God for her little visit because she reminded me that on my road, I failed to recognize that Jesus was walking with me.

So many negative experiences even if offered to God daily can make me feel forgotten or ignored by the Lord. Pope Benedict XVI said on April 6th of 2008 at St. Peter's Square:

"This road to Emmaus on which we walk can become the
way of purification and maturation of our belief in God.
Through the intercession of Mary most holy,
let us pray that in reliving the experience of the disciples of
Emmaus every Christian and every community
may rediscover the grace
of the transforming encounter with the Lord."
I remember the story I heard once, that our life is like a tapestry, a quilt like creation. God gives us these threads to weave and some of them don't look like they are the best choice at the time, but in obedience, we weave. We tie knots and start again with another texture or color. And quite frankly the work looks like a mess from our vantage point.
But at the end, when we meet Him face to face. He turns the tapestry around and lets us see for the very first time what His creation looks like. I pray with Mary's grace and intercession, it will give Him so much glory!

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I want my God, to love you face to face.